Mental Health Advice: How To Get Over A Messy Breakup

It’s hard to find a person who hasn’t been there. Breakups are an inseparable part of our lives, in the vast majority of situations, they cannot be avoided.

Well, you can do your best to make them as quick and painless as possible, however, there is no guarantee your efforts will deliver the desired result. Those who are out of luck have to go through a poignant parting not only with their loved one but also with their dreams about the future.

Of course, a messy and gut-wrenching breakup is far from being a cheery scenario, however, that’s not a reason to be desperate and lie in bed, moaning over your fate. Even when you feel you cannot move forward, it’s important to keep going and get back on track – your mental health and well-being are priorities. Here is expert advice on how to get over a complicated and destabilizing breakup.

Talk About Your Breakup

The first and foremost step to getting over all the bad things that still hurt your feelings is to talk about what has happened with other people. Just a heads up, even though you can talk literally to everyone, from your closest friends to absolute strangers, be careful with whom you are going to share your pain, sorrow, doubts, or expectations. Being cautious is especially important if you still see a glimmer of hope or pretty sure signs your ex will come back because in that case, a small talk with the wrong person can do more harm than good. Stick with the simple rule: talk only to people you really trust or complete strangers you are likely never to meet again. Try not to talk about your breakup with your mutual acquaintances since you never know how your words will be delivered to the other side and whether what you said can make things even more complicated.

Find A Hobby

If you still don’t have a hobby or it somehow remains you of your ex, think of a new activity that can be fun and help you meet new people. It doesn’t matter whether it’s going to be a fancy dance class, hiking, cooking, playing video games, reading books, or something else – the point is to shift focus and start enjoying life again. By the way, it’s also a terrific idea to get a dog as first off, you will be busy as hell and secondly, you will get tons of positive vibes and happy moments. In addition to that, you will have plenty of reasons to spend a lot of time outside and meet some new people – it’s common knowledge, dog parents are incredibly friendly and outgoing.

Keep A Journal

Interestingly, many people who have gone through really terrible breakups swear that keeping a journal helped them cope with negative emotions and overcome anxiety and depression. Therapists confirm that writing about your feelings is just as good as talking about them to your family or friends, therefore if you don’t have people to share your pain with or you are just one of those who are usually afraid to communicate about problems, start writing immediately and you will see the difference. It is also healing to reread your notes from time to time and see how your feelings are changing as time passes. By the way, it can be pretty useful to read your old notes when you are in a new relationship, not to miss some warning signs, and act the right way to handle an eventual problem.

Time Heals All Wounds

It is not just a saying, a catchphrase coined by someone who just wanted to make people in sorrow feel better. It is a motto that really works, the only problem is that some wounds take much longer to heal completely than others. Perhaps, you will have to wait a bit longer than you want but rest assured, as time passes by, your brain will keep fewer and fewer memories about your finished relationship. Be patient while waiting for that one-of-its-kind day when you know you’re ready to move on. Suddenly, that person will stop being a part of your thoughts and you will be able to focus on what really matters – your life.



Although there is no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to love and relationships, there are tried and true ways to safely get over a messy breakup and preserve your mental health. Consider using these tried and true pieces of advice to get back on track and live a happier and more fulfilling life.

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