The Chances Of Finding Your Soulmate In The Digital Age

Everybody, in one way or another, is looking for love. Some are lucky enough to have it at home. Some are still out there searching. People go to great lengths to find that one person that fits their personality like a jigsaw. You can find yourself in Asia, talking to people on meetup groups. You might find yourself in South America searching apps para ligar in hopes that someone finds your accent cute. Whatever the case is, the common denominator is that we all search for it online. 

We’re not about to go out and talk to a stranger without pre-screening, are we? It’s the 21st century. We have our reach infinitely expanded in the digital age. We should use it. Here’s how you can maximize your fun, your social life, and your *ahem* numbers in the comfort of your own home.

Compatibility Apps

Let’s start with the more vanilla means of meeting people. There are groups of apps that are targeted at companionship. They act as a means to get people who have similar qualities together in one spot. Let’s say you’re a laboratory worker. You add that to your profile along with the other things that are to your liking. The program puts those qualities together and matches you according to how close your interests are. That’s the original basis for some of the most popular apps out there. When you finally find the people close enough to interact with, you can ask for their number, maybe get a date, possibly a few drinks after, etc.

The upside to these apps is that it’s what you’re essentially looking for. They take into account your socioeconomic status, your interests, and your work. They match you with an algorithm of similarities. That way, you’re not stuttering through your words or struggling to find things you relate to. The downside is, well, the same as the upside. What if you’re not looking for someone in your line of interest? What if you don’t want to talk about the same things. It doesn’t leave much open for nuance. It’s restrictive in that manner. But, if you’re into meeting people that have the same set of interests as you, it’s perfect. 

The Swipe Apps

The next set of apps is probably what we’re most familiar with. They put people together based on aesthetics. They give you the option to upload whatever picture you want along with a description. These apps are the most popular out on the internet right now. The infamous “swipe right” feature started by Tinder exemplifies the pace and how one interacts. If they like your picture and the way you describe yourself, you get the swipe right. Don’t they? 

Well, they swipe left. You get informed when someone likes you. It’s a means of protecting your ego. Because if you knew how many people rejected you relative to the number of likes you got, your soul would get crushed. This is especially true of straight men. Unless you look like Jason Momoa or Michael B. Jordan, you’re going to get a lot more rejection. They just don’t put it out in front of you. They let you count the little wins.

The upside to these is that you get to initiate the conversation. You get to figure out what people are all about instead of having an algorithm tell you what you’re interested in. This is great for people with more social skills to begin with. Maybe you’re in quarantine and can’t flirt with people normally. Maybe you have a hurdle to get over with social anxiety. Either way, the onus is on you to interact. 

It can lead, once again, to a date, dinner, or maybe something more. You can even arrange something with no strings attached right there on the app. The point is that the interaction is solely guided by looks at first, then conversation second. Everything else is up to you.

The Hookup Apps

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The next set of apps are purely for hookups. They’re much like the swipe apps, except you’re there for one reason and one reason only. You log on, put up an honest picture, and tell the people what you want. Someone is bound to respond. The internet is so wide and so vast that anything could correspond with your potential physical needs. You just have to be honest. It’s the most successful set of no-strings-attached hookups ever. 

All you need to do is commit to that level of detachment from emotion. That is, of course, unless you’re looking for that in the long run. The most important thing is to be honest with your lifestyle, your expectations, and your kink.

The downside to these kinds of apps is that you’re immediately plunged into a pool of individuals who may not have your particular set of turn-ons. You’re all looking for someone to be physical with. But in a giant pool of people you have no control over, it can be a bit much. Also, look for scams. There are people online who will rope you into potential prostitution rings. You just have to be thorough in your interactions before meeting up. Someone looking for money will be too quick to get you to show up and spend almost no time talking about anything else.  The upside, of course, is obvious. 

Whether or not you find your soulmate is up to you. Such is life. You can find your soulmate anywhere. It could be in a digital match-making website. It could be in an organized swinger party facilitated by a hookup app. The heart wants what the heart wants. In this day and age, the only standard that we have is what we’re willing to accept. 

If we keep within the bounds of what we’re looking for, we’re bound to find it. But don’t think you’re going to get Chris Evans or Ana de Armas online. Keep your expectations realistic. Most of all, be a genuine person. Too many people try to flex online. Don’t be that person. They may brag and boast. Real recognize real. So be real.


About Harlem World Magazine

Harlem World Magazine is about living your best life and style around the block and around the world of Harlem.

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