We all want to be in successful and fulfilling relationships. Being in a romantic relationship gives you a sense of comfort, warmth, and relief from the daily stressors of life.
However, life is full of twists and turns, and even the strongest bond among lovebirds could weaken, break, and end up in tears. Whether it’s a serious relationship that could lead to a lifetime together or something you’re not sure where it’s headed, breakups do happen. They are part of life. Some of them are nasty and derailing, whereas some of them happen with mutual respect.
Either way, breakups are not everyone’s cup of tea. They can be sad and stressful. Depending on how emotionally invested you were, some of them can have a huge impact on your life. But all this depends on how you act after breaking up with your partner or they break up with you.
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Depending on whether you want to move on or get back with your ex, here are some dos and don’ts on how to act after breaking up.
If You Want Them Back
Don’t Act Desperate For Sex
Especially for guys, one of the biggest misconceptions people have after a break up is that “makeup sex” will solve everything. Well, this could be true, but it is rarely the case for people who want to get the exes back. Sam Romero from getherbackguide.com/sex-with-your-ex/ suggests treading carefully before you decide to have sex with your ex after a breakup. Sleeping with your ex just because she is into it could end up torturing you in the long run. It is even worse if you show desperation and act clingy. It portrays you as weak and needy. You deserve respect, so keep your pants on until you know what he or she really wants.
Do Respect Them
After a breakup, the last thing you want is an endless cascade of hurtful events. This is exactly what you will deal with by being disrespectful to your ex. Avoid taking to social media to shame the person you once considered your better half. Respect his /her decision, personality, and privacy. Respect them as a person and they might as well start falling for you all over again.
Don’t Be Too Available
After a breakup, your partner may not feel or realize your worth if you are too available. Distancing yourself a bit allows them time to reflect and feel they are missing something major. This is why the “no-contact rule” of at least 30 or 60 days works when you want to get your ex back. Just keep yourself busy with work and the things you love a little longer until (hopefully) your ex makes the first move.
If You Don’t Want Them Back
Do Cut Communication
If you feel that the relationship was dragging you behind or affecting your life negatively, moving on is always an option. It is okay to miss the former love of your life, but that doesn’t always mean that you should talk or meet up as usual.
You may feel the urge to start a conversation, but it is best to avoid it at all costs if you want to move on. If you are hurting, find a support system, hang around with your friends more, and bury yourself in the activities you love. The feeling will fade away naturally once you get through the stages of grief.
Don’t Be Available
This one cuts both ways. When you don’t want to get back with your ex, it is practical to make yourself scarce after the breakup. This should go on as long as it possibly can until both of you are convinced that all strings are cut and you can’t get back together.
Don’t Try To Erase Old Memories
Memories of you with your ex will be buried in gifts, places, people, photos, and a lot of other things. Whenever you wear a watch or dress your ex bought you, it is natural to walk down memory lane. Instead of trying so hard to get rid of and avoid these triggers, it is better to embrace them as part of you and try creating new memories of your own based on those triggers. However, things that mess up your health and sanity should be avoided like the plague.
Finally, it is important to reflect on yourself and focus on making yourself better. Whether you are the one who ended things or the other person did, sometimes it is best to accept that is over. A breakup isn’t worth messing your life over or spending an arm and a leg trying to get your ex back. Know what you want and invest in healing in case the breakup affected you negatively. You will have yourself to pat on the back after a while because, after all, time heals all wounds!