Good divorce … That sounds a little absurd, right? Yes, unfortunately, for most couples who decide to break up, divorce is synonymous with the latest opportunity for a fierce battle with each other, as well as an excellent reason to cause even more pain to your soulmate. However, in fact, this is a clear sign of an unhealthy picture of the world – and not healthy relationships that led to this. In this case, the breakup is the best solution, but it doesn’t have to be like extracts from Italian films with scandals and broken dishes. It is quite possible to get a divorce in the right and good way – and you should know about it.
Some Time Ago You Have Voluntary Chosen This Person as Your Life Partner
Let’s reason logically. Several years, months, tens of years or days ago, you made a voluntary and informed decision to connect your life with this person. Yes, you may have been wearing pink glasses and did not notice important things, but your choice has already been made. What is the point of scandals, quarrels, and grievances if the decision to divorce has already been made?
It was your choice – and now you have changed your mind, which means you have to be responsible for it. Yes, you did not think that you would have to get a divorce, but if this is already inevitable, then the best way is to still try to maintain at least respect for each other. And do not tarnish your past life together with further scandals and attempts to stab each other as painfully as possible.
You Still Have and Will Have a Lot in Common
Most likely, being married, you acquired property, gave birth to children, created joint investments and made other actions for the benefit of your family. Yes, now you just can share it all and forget about each other. If you do not have children, then it will be even easier to do it.
But even if you do not have any shared material values, then still there is a thing that will forever remain your common. And this is your shared past. You cannot change it. A joint past, consisting of good moments with a person whom you voluntarily chose (yes, this is from the previous paragraph), is another good reason not to denigrate your divorce, but to make it calm and deliberate.
You Can’t Burn All the Bridges If You Have Children
And if you have children, we congratulate you – you may or may not want this, but now you are forever bound by the strongest knot of all possible. It can be good or bad – depending on how you relate to this fact. But again, we can’t bring the past back — your common children have already come to this world and will remain in it.
And of all the possible reasons to make your divorce peaceful and as painless as possible, this reason is the most compelling and serious. Think about your children. They will have a shock anyway. And only you can turn a divorce into an injury that will lead your children to a psychotherapist – or you can do it quietly and calmly, showing your children peaceful ways to resolve issues, while maintaining mutual respect.
Your Desire to Have a Good Divorce Is a Sign That You Are an Adult Person
In fact, the ability to admit your mistakes and calmly accept the fact that you need a divorce is a mature decision of a reasonable and adult person. When couples get divorced along with the scandal, this is a clear sign that each of them has resentment against his partner, caused by unfulfilled hopes, unrealistic expectations, and unspoken (or spoken) words.
The ability to take your grudge, survive it, forgive and let go is the prerogative of a wise person who does not want to carry his old experiences into his new life. The ability to accept a situation and calmly part with a person who was dear to you is the cornerstone of a good divorce. And if your decision is irreversible, we recommend that you do it.
You Really Have the Opportunity to Make Your Divorce Good and Calm
Moreover, modern technologies provide very profitable opportunities to make your divorce good, calm and economical. Modern divorce preparation services make it possible to completely eliminate bureaucratic red tape and nervousness because of this from your divorce process. All you need to get a good and cheap online divorce service is get in touch with a specialized company, find out what divorce papers you need and fill out your divorce kit independently. Agree, a good divorce sounds more realistic when you do not need to argue with each other in court, fill out tons of meaningless papers and pay crazy money to lawyers.
You May Never Be Sure in Your Future with 101% of Confidence
And finally … Today you decided to break the connection with the person with whom you planned to be your whole life. And perhaps you are right. However, we can never be sure of our future with an absolute probability – perhaps sometime after the divorce, you realize that it was a mistake, or you need help, or life will make another unexpected turn. And if you managed to part peacefully and maintain an adequate relationship, this means that you still have one more person you can rely on, even if you are no longer together.
Greg Semmit has years of experience working with different types of legal documents and writing about Family Law for educational purposes. Currently, he is working at OnlineDivorcer company, where he writing blog articles about divorce and divorce cases. In his free time, he likes roaming the streets of New York with his Olympus taking photos of the best spots in the city.